Clear Water Outdoor Alien Visitor
Posted By:Clear Water Outdoor Store
Posted On:Oct 5 2009 3:01PM


Dear Supreme Commander (Gregg Bagni Alien Truth),


Thank your for sending me to live with the humans of Clear Water Outdoor.  I prefer this method of study to our archaic probing methods.  Recently they took me on a trip to the Apostle Islands National Lakeshore.  I am puzzled why they chose to travel by kayak with human power as the means of propulsion.  It is so primitive. 

Thankfully I did not have to paddle any of the nearly 40 miles we explored.  Nonetheless we managed to survive the cold waters of Lake Superior quite well.  I was able to offer some assistance with navigation even though they use 2 dimensional maps.  The beaches were spectacular and the water more clear than the Galactican Nebula in February.  They gave me the name “Green Dude” because they cannot pronounce Zorgathlogintgork.



I learned how the humans sleep in the backcountry, though I chose to sleep inside some NRS Water Shoes because of the strange noises humanoid males make while sleeping.


I also learned of their strange choice of diet.  They introduced me to something they called “PBR”?  It has a funny taste but an interesting side effect.  This elixir made it possible for me to communicate with other species on Earth.  I particularly enjoyed my conversation with the Lady Bugs, funny little creatures. 


I woke up later and the humans had buried me in the sand with only my cranium sticking out.  They shaped the sand into a female humanoid body.  I did not see the humor in this, or the rinse in the 48degree lake water.



Overall I would say my experience with them has been very insightful.  The one called “Cory” is particularly interesting.  I wonder if perhaps he has some mutations in his DNA.    


Until next time,




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